{on negativity}

Taylor Swift is one smart lady...

If you put yourself out there on your blog, there will come a day when you face negativity. There's a pretty infamous site, known for their snark about bloggers. Some of their content is legitimate constructive criticism, and some is just plan, unnecessary meanness. But if they made me realize one thing at all, it's this: not everyone is going to like you. And that's okay. 

Sometimes it will come in the form of blog comments, and sometimes you might happen to stumble upon some not-so-nice things written about you in a forum, but it will happen. I promise. Maybe you should feel thankful that people are actually noticing you, I know I eventually came to that conclusion. That doesn't always make it any easier. Here are a few things I've learned from negativity on the internet:

Constructive criticism is good.

Though there are a few books and blogs about how to blog, there is no bible to blogging. It's all so subjective. You can read all you want, but it all comes down to personal experience. I think that's one of the best parts about blogging: it's a constant learning experience. I know I learn something new everyday, whether it be from other bloggers or things I come across in "real life." And the truth is, you will make mistakes. You live and you learn, and wouldn't you rather be told that something you do isn't necessarily appropriate or correct instead of making the same mistakes over and over again?

For example, I will respond to "follow me" comments every once in a while, pointing out that what this blogger is doing isn't really appreciated in the blogging world. Usually I'll do it if I see that they don't have a lot of followers, because they probably just don't know any better {though some bloggers build their entire following by this and don't care if it's polite or not}. Sometimes they email me back, thanking me for pointing it out. Sometimes they don't respond at all, and I can only assume it's because of embarrassment. 

Requesting that a blogger include sources for images or pointing out that they made a typo or spelling error isn't bad. We should all appreciate those that take the time to point these things out to us, in my opinion. They're taking time out of their day to help us improve our own sites, and they don't have to. But it's really all about how they do it. If someone leaves a rude comment, snarking about how you used an apostrophe in the wrong place, I don't think you necessarily need to respond. Fix it, and move on. But if someone is sincere about their criticism, and it's truly constructive, then don't feel so bad. Like I said, we all make mistakes. 

Some people are just trolls. 

According to Wikipedia...

In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory, extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as a forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.

I've found that these people who post anonymously tend to just be trolls. They complain about anything "bloggers" like or do {because, you know, we're all the same...}, including, but not limited to: pumpkin spice lattes, top knots, using Twitter for promoting your blog posts, and especially making money from your blog.

The thing about trolls is that they WANT to be mean. If they seem something negative about you already written, they're going to your blog already knowing that they will hate it. They aren't going to see all of the amazing things you've written, they are just looking for things to be mean about. That's what trolls do. And there's nothing you can do to stop it.

If I've learned anything from the meanness that can come from anonymity on the internet, it's to just not feed into it. Defending yourself just gives them more ammunition, something I saw recently when the boyfriend of someone brought up in one of these forums came over to defend his girl. They tore. him. apart. And it was not pretty. If you just ignore it, they'll forget about you and move onto the next person.

Remember that what you do is important.

I said it above, but I'll repeat it again here: not everyone is going to love what you do. Every person is different, and we all have different styles. Just because I don't like a blog doesn't mean that I think it shouldn't be out there. Everyone always says to blog for yourself. Putting yourself out there is really difficult, and I highly doubt that many of these trolls understand that. They think that if they don't like it, there is no value to what you do, but please don't believe that.

If you ever get caught off guard with the negativity that can come with having a blog, I encourage you to write down all the reasons why you blog. I blog because I need a creative outlet. I blog because I run a business, and I love writing as an extension of that business. I blog because it's a form of therapy. It's important that I blog, because of these things. What I do is important, even if it's just important to me.

What you do is important. We're creating a community of amazing people, setting trends {it's true!}, and sharing innovative and creative ideas. People who don't blog may not understand these things, but we do. So don't forget it. 

You will encounter some negativity in your blogging life. It happens to everyone. But when I ended up in a mean forum a few months ago, I tweeted about how sad I was. And you know what? The response I got from people who honestly love and care about me was a hundred times more powerful than those few comments about how "dumb" I was.

The same goes for you. I appreciate what you do. So please don't stop.