12.17.2013

{two weeks}

Can you believe that there are exactly two weeks left in 2013? Two weeks from today we'll be counting down the minutes and the seconds to 2014, toasting to our resolutions for the new year with champagne and sparklers. It seems almost surreal that another year is coming to a close; that next week we'll be celebrating Christmas and then 2013 will be over with. 

The truth is, 2013 has had a lot of ups and downs. Maybe this is a premature post, but I think I'd regret it if I waited until December thirty-first to reflect back on the year. This was the year that I finally faced my anxiety, that I put my personal life last so that I could have the best wedding season yet, that I struggled with my marriage and my self-worth.
It was only a few months ago that I realized the true mission behind this blog. I've been blogging for over three years now, but it only recently hit me. That life doesn't need to be perfect to be beautiful. 

Life is messy. It's full of stress and hurt feelings and disappointment. But it's also full of opportunity, and the chance to take the hard and make it into something good. 2013 has been hard. I know a lot of people say it, but it's true. I still can't bring myself to write down some of the things that as of now I've only whispered to my husband, in the safety of his arms and our bedroom. Those are the things that I can't bring myself to admit to anyone else just yet, but admitting them to myself has been a huge step in the right direction. 

The thing is, it's those things that made 2013 the incredible year that it was. No, my life is far from perfect. I struggle with a lot of things that I would never wish on anyone, but it's those things that make my life have meaning. It's getting over the hard that makes life beautiful, in the most colorful and authentic way possible.

I have two weeks to take that hard, to step outside my home where I've been hiding out for the past few months, and make something good out of it. I have two weeks to define what 2013 meant to me, to turn the bad into the good, to learn from my mistakes.

I don't need to do big things, and we don't need to be ready to wrap up the year with a pretty little bow on December thirty-first. All I want is to leave 2013 knowing that the year made an impact on me. Life is too complicated to put a label on that impact, be it positive or negative. I just need to know that this year was important. 

So, here's to the next two weeks friends. I hope you all make them something meaningful. 

6 comments:

Joelle Duff said...

I love that. You don't need to do big things... just enough to know that the year made an impact. I love it!

Joelle Duff said...

I love that you are starting to reflect on your year now. I am with you on 2013 being an impactful year. I know that life is always full of surprises/challenges/lessons no matter what twelve months you are talking about, but I sure did learn more this year than any I can remember. Thanks for being honest. I love reading your posts when you share a bit more of yourself!

Joelle Duff said...

This has been the hardest year of my life too. So many major changes that I never expected, and I've struggled. But I also think that I am a stronger and wiser person because of it, and it sounds like you are too. It's years like this that make us who we are. Thank you so much for sharing!

Joelle Duff said...

I'm sorry to hear this year was so hard for you! This post is beautifully written, and I'm sure all will be better in 2014! Enjoy the holidays with your family and hopefully that will give you some positive energy :) Remember that life is hard sometimes for everyone, even for those who may seem like the most blessed people in the world (something my grandmother once said to me) .
xx

Joelle Duff said...

I loved how open and honest this post was! I have had the same feelings lately about 2013 and wanting so much more good from 2014. This year was incredibly harder than I had anticipated but there are so many blessings from becoming wiser and stronger. Everything you wrote was so spot on and just what I needed to read today! Xo

Joelle Duff said...

Two weeks. God. 2013 has been completely different for me - it's been a path I never knew I'd be on and it's been a whirlwind and I'm still caught up in that, but I feel like I'm slowly getting my head above water. I'm not even sure what I want to do with the next two weeks; I keep thinking more in terms of before and after whatever date I set to move to London, rather than before and after December 31st. It's all so odd. But good luck wrapping up 2013 in a way that completes it the way you want it to. <3