{wedding wednesday: the groom}

I’ve read a few interesting articles lately about wedding planning and millennials. It’s almost too natural for wedding vendors to say that they are working with “the bride,” when in reality, it’s both the bride and groom that they are working with. Young couples that get married these days want to be involved equally. Or they want to at least both have equal say in the decisions. The groom is one half of the couple, and it’s really important that we all remember that.

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As brides, it’s easy to feel as if you’re doing everything. But if you’re getting overwhelmed, then you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable about giving your fiancé responsibilities. And if you’re the groom reading this post, then there are a few things you can take initiative on.

1. Manage your family

Once it’s time to start getting invitations {or save the dates} sent out, you should definitely offer to get the addresses for anyone on your side of the family. Once the RSVPs come in, you should call anyone that hasn’t responded to find out whether or not they will actually be there. If there is conflict between your bride and any member of your family, it’s definitely your responsibility to be a buffer, or make sure that both parties get along. This means talking to your mom when she offends your fiancé, or vice versa. This goes for the day of the wedding, as well.

2. Keep an eye on your guys

Not only do you get to choose who stands up with you at the altar, but you have the fun responsibility to make sure that they are all in line. This means, relay any information to them that they will need to know, including attire, dates and times of important events {including the rehearsal and any wedding-related activities}, and their responsibilities for the wedding (such as ushering guests to their seats}.

3. Have fun with the registry

Even if you aren’t a fan of wedding planning {at all}, one aspect that you’re sure to enjoy is the registry. Feel free to let her choose the towels and dishes if you’d like, but speak up if there is something that you really want. Whether or not you care, just be there when it happens, at least. It should be a fun thing for you to do together.

4. Just get it done

Even if she takes charge for most of the planning, at least do the bare minimum. This means, writing your vows and getting fitted for your tux. If this is all you need to do, it’s not much. So don’t complain about it. Please.

5. Speak up

It’s really important that you speak your mind when necessary. You have a right to say what you think and to help make decisions. If you don’t feel comfortable voicing your opinion, then there’s a bigger issue in your relationship that just that.

When choosing the groom and groomsmen’s attire for the wedding day, here is a good tip: the earlier in the day, the more casual you can dress. The later in the evening, the more formal you should be. That means, tuxes past seven and khakis for a brunch wedding. But, like always, this is just a guideline for traditional attire. You are more than welcome to wear whatever you’d like at any time during the day.

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Men aren’t constrained these days by the black tuxedo. There are so many options for the groom’s attire, including bow ties, seersucker, grey suits {very popular}, and going barefoot. The bride has so many options when it comes to her attire, so why shouldn’t the groom?

A boutonniere is a flower or other type of decoration, such as buttons or feathers, worn by the men in a wedding party, including fathers and grandfathers.

The boutonniere is pinned to the left lapel of the man’s suit or jacket, and should be located at or near the lapel’s button hole. You can read more about boutonnieres and how to wear them here.

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There are so many things that I could write about this week, but I just can’t. So, if you’re more interested in the traditional responsibilities of the groom, how to choose groomsmen, or specifics on the groom’s options for attire, you should definitely check out the Knot’s groom section here.

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