{my story :: on fall}

I know that some bloggers repost content that has already gone up on the blog, but I don't know that I've ever done it personally. I obviously much prefer to write new things and new thoughts. 

I'm going to do things a little differently today, however.

Last year, I wrote a really personal post that was really difficult for me to hit publish on. I was hoping you'd let me share that story again today. 

You see, I understand that a lot of people don't necessarily "get" bloggers' obsession with fall. It's just a season; I get it. For me, however, it has a lot more meaning than just a time of year with pumpkins and boots. For me, it's a time of introspection, of appreciating my home and my life. It's a time of creative development and of love and celebration. Four years ago, I didn't think I would make it to 2013. I was seriously depressed and anxious and unhappy. And then fall happened. 

Photo by Alyssa Armstrong Photography

Originally posted on September 6, 2012 :: 

I'm sure you've read a lot of posts already about why people love fall {even though fall doesn't officially start for a few weeks}. For me, and for a lot of people, it starts unofficially the day after Labor Day and goes all the way until the weekend after Thanksgiving. I love this long season, for quite a few reasons, many of which I'm sure you haven't heard before. 

Three years ago, in May, I graduated from college. It was the middle of the recession and you can imagine how difficult it was to find a job. So, I moved back in with my parents. Summer was good. I finally found a job, and I was able to enjoy time with my fiancé and my family. But the last week of August, Robert moved back to school, two hours away, to finish his senior year. 

It was fall, and I didn't have my fiancé with me, I didn't get along with my parents, and I had no friends left at home. I was miserable. 

But then. 

It was fall, and that's when I discovered Taylor Swift, Twilight, and pumpkin spice lattes. These were the things that kept me going. 

It was fall, and I became best friends with the sweetest, most creative woman I've ever met. We started our first event planning business, and spent nearly every day together drinking Starbucks, eating McDonalds, and making wedding cakes. 

It was fall, and I got fired from that first job. I spent over a month racking up credit card debt while I desperately tried to find another one. 

It was fall, and I started writing my book. I would stay up all night long, listening to Taylor Swift and Muse and Owl City, my headphones all the way up and drinking red wine while typing away on the computer. 

It was fall, and I finally started to plan my own wedding. 

Most people talk about how they love the short days, cool weather, and warm clothes that come with fall. I love all of these things, but for a different reason. 

I love these things because it reminds of that time, that time when the leaves changed and I changed. I grew up that fall. I grew into the person I am today. This is why I love Taylor Swift so much, and why I have such stress over that still-unfinished book. It's not just a season of the year for me. It was a season of my life, probably the most difficult and most rewarding season of my life. I'll always be grateful for that time. 

I look forward to this time every year now. It's a time for scarves and hot drinks and comfort food. But it's also a time for me to look back and be proud of how far I've come since then. 

And this is why I love fall.