I'm having one of those moments.
It's gone on longer than a day, so it's not just one of those days.
We all have our moments. Sometimes they are good moments. Sometimes they are not so good moments.
My moment is of the not-so-good variety. I'm happy, don't get me wrong. I'm just...
Scared?
Intimidated?
Jealous?
Insecure?
Anxious?
Or, all of the above.
I don't want this blog to turn into a platform for my many {many} complaints in life. But if you've noticed my lack of personal posts recently, this is why. All of those reasons above have prevented me, each in their own way, of writing anything of real substance here.
I wonder if there is any room for me in this world. Me and my big dreams.
If you've known me {or read this blog} for any amount of time, you know that I have dreams.
And they are big.
But...
Is there really a place for my blog?
Am I really any good at this thing called writing?
Would the world actually want to read my book?
Could I really make money from planning weddings?
Should I even try to decorate my apartment, when I know that I can't even compete with all of the pretty places I see elsewhere?
Right now, I don't need your encouragement. I don't need your support or even kind words, though they would be greatly appreciated nonetheless.
I guess I just need your understanding.
I'm trying to work through this...life-block {kind of like writer's block, but consuming every aspect of my life}.
I want to write what's on my mind. And today, this is what is on my mind. Hopefully it isn't on my mind for much longer.
I found this though. I think it makes me feel better.
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| {via} |
I still love you all. I promise.
8 comments:
This post reminds me so much of my post today. We all have these moments in life. The moments where we feel stuck or insufficient or scared. I seriously have gone through the same thought process as you about decorating my apartment. Or even, should I bother decorating it {like REALLY decorating it} when I know I'll be moving somewhere else one of these days?
I like to think we create our blogs for a reason, whether it's an outlet or just a place to meet new people. I questioned whether I should write what's on my mind today and while I was super vague, I still did it. So, I appreciate you being real and honest with your readers :) I think sometimes, as hard as it is, we have to stop wondering what other people will say or think and just do what we want!
my momma always said, "if you can dream it, you can do it." hugs to you my dear.
I just love that image/quote. It settled my mind a little bit. The thing I love about blogs is that you realize you are not alone in how you feel most of the time. Thank you for posting this.
As I read this post I recognized myself in it. About a year ago I was in a "blue" place. Felt all of the things you've just written. For me it lasted a few months and I knew it wasn't good. I started finding ways to work through it and you know what the biggest lesson I figured out {at almost age 32 lol} BE YOURSELF! whoever that is :) Once you start embracing that you can't go wrong.
Write and don't worry whether anyone will read it {they will!}
Decorate with the things that make you smile and don't compare it to anyone else!
Dream big!
p.s. I posted about your blog yesterday on mine, see I think you're worth reading :)
I have gone through a few of these phases and not wanted to feel like I was becoming one of those people who aired all my personal problems. I have wrote ALOT but kept most of it to myself and it works for me. Lovely image and hope you feel more positive soon.
I am sure you are not the only one struggling with these things. I think a blog is good to just have to let your creativity flow when you need it to. Or for times like this, when you need to vent or just write your thoughts out to get them out of your head. You don't always need it to be spectacular and meaningful and helpful and all the other things people do on their blogs. Your blog is great, and YOU are great!
I struggle a lot with writing truly personal posts because I don't know who really reads my blog and I don't want people to get the wrong impression or be offended. Maybe that's hiding who I really am, but it's a risk I'm not willing to take. There's nothing wrong with being scared or insecure or any of the things you mentioned, but just know that there are people in the blog world who support you and really do love to read your blog and ideas and thoughts!! :)
I can absolutely identify with this post - I have been feeling the same way lately. It's hard to have big dreams, and not know exactly how to accomplish them all...or even where to START. I always think, "If there's a will, there's a way". My strategy has just been to take things one step at a time - if it doesn't work then try something else. But, I think you've got the biggest and most important thing down...and that's aspiration :)
I have times here or there where I wonder why I should keep blogging ot whether I should be more or less personal on my blog and whether what I write matters. And I know what you mean about decorating your apartment, because I so often look at pictures and feel like I could never make that happen. So then I just don't worry about it. But then I start thinking about all the cool things about me that I don't see as cool because its just me. And I bet you're the same way!
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