{on life, lately}

Life has always felt like a roller coaster for me. Sure, there have been some constants that keep me grounded: my family, my husband, my friends. But for the most part, I'm so indecisive and emotional and impulsive that life sometimes leaves me feeling a little bit dizzy. 

{via}

Before this year, I really had no idea what I wanted to do. I thought I did, which is why at varying points in my young adult life I considered law or sociology or history as professions {see, told you I’m indecisive}. I honestly thought these things would make me happy, since so many of my friends had dedicated their lives to more scholarly pursuits. You can imagine that there are times when I feel inferior when it comes to my chosen profession. But there are also moments when I feel really proud of myself for doing what I'm doing. Not everyone can say that they started their own business before their twenty-fifth birthday. 

Whenever I feel happy or satisfied or proud of myself, however, the emotional roller coaster that is my life likes to throw in a loop, or just send me racing down a really steep hill. Sometimes it's envy that provokes it, or my job or a thousand other things. All I know is that it gets really, really tiring being so depressed all the time. 

I also know that I don't share enough of my life with you on this blog. Or, I feel like I don't. Probably because I don't think my life is very exciting, but it doesn't matter. I want to share with you what's going on. So, here it is.

Thoughts and happenings and other randomness.

1. First things first. My dog is still adorable.
2. I've realized that I am a jealous person by nature. I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing, since envy can be a really great motivator. It's turning that envy into inspiration that's my problem. Recently, I've been comparing myself to others way too much, and this has really been dragging me down. Why do I do this? Seriously, I'm terrible.
3. And in the same vein as the whole jealousy thing, does anyone else think that blogging is kind of like high school all over again? And I'm trying not to beat myself up over the fact that I still am not one of the popular girls.
4. I've been sick a lot. Mainly female problems and migraines, with some digestive issues and worse-than-normal body pain thrown in {not to mention a minor case of the wine flu}, all since we got back from Chicago. And now I'm getting a sore throat from a virus going around the office. This is really putting a damper on the anniversary celebrations, if you know what I mean...
5. Of all the things I dislike about my day job, my nerves are being fried by the woman next to me and her incessant slurping. Seriously, this lady does not know how to drink a cup of coffee without the entire office hearing. I've resorted to headphones and slurping my own drinks as loudly as I can, but this just doesn't seem to deter her. Suggestions? I really don’t know what to do!
6. My relaxing Easter weekend in Orange County is turning into a Saturday packed full of all the work-related meetings I can fit in. Seriously, I have two client meetings and a vendor appointment all happening in twenty-four hour period. Not that I'm complaining of course...I do appreciate all the work I can get!
7. I made the rookie mistake of washing a pair of pants that still had chapstick in the pocket. I feel like a homemaking failure.
8. I've decided to keep writing my book, and not toss it out and start from scratch. There are times when I wonder if my story is interesting or compelling at all. Then there are times when I realize that it really does have a lot more substance than some of the books I've read recently.

So, there’s that. I told you my life was exciting!