11.15.2011

Virtual Coffee

Morning friends.

It’s Tuesday. Quite possibly the hardest day of the week for me.

If we were having coffee this morning, I would tell you that I am super excited for the possibility of a blogger meet up in December! If you live in the LA area, email me so that I can put you on the list!

If we were having coffee this morning, I would tell you that we need to get serious for a minute.

Can we get serious for a minute?

If we were having coffee this morning, I would tell you that I need the little things this week. I need the Hunger Games trailer. I need a girls’ night on Thursday. I need to look forward to meeting some new bloggers next month. I need to find joy in the little things.

Because sometimes, it’s the little things that keep me afloat.

I’m beyond blessed. I know this more than anybody. I have a wonderful husband and nice home and an adorable dog. I have the love of my family and a good job. I have more friends than I deserve.

But sometimes, these things aren’t enough. Sometimes, I get sad. And this week, this past week and today, I got sad. I am sad.

So, I’m sorry. I don’t know if I need to apologize to all of you for that, but I’m going to. It’s a little thing that I can do. And I need all the little things I can get.

This isn’t a woe is me post. I promise. This is me being real, and letting you all into a very private part of my life. I know not all bloggers do this, but I do. It’s important that I be real. So be nice. Please.

If we were having coffee this morning, I would tell you how much I appreciate my blog friends. You all are some of the sweetest, most interesting people I’ve met. Blogging is a form of therapy for me, proven by the fact that since I started blogging a little over a year ago, the sad days have been {relatively} few and far between. I know that I don’t respond to every comment, but I try. I desperately try.

But here’s another little secret of mine…

I’m socially anxious.

Since being in college, I’ve really come out of my shell. A lot.

But there’s still that little voice in the back of my head, telling me I’m not cool enough; I’m not smart enough; And that I’m too weird and awkward to really fit in.

I like to think I do fit in. But maybe I don’t.

And sometimes, the words get all mixed up in my head. I don’t know if what I’m writing is the right thing to say. So sometimes, when I see an especially sweet or insightful comment, I get too anxious and nervous to respond. I don’t want to ruin anything.

So for that, I’m sorry too.

If we were having coffee this morning, I would tell you how much I appreciate you. Because if you’re taking the time to read this, you’re doing something little that’s making my day a little bit better. So for that, thank you.

Another something little:

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{via}

Happy Tuesday.

12 comments:

MarieHarmony said...

Joelle, thanks for a very honest post. I think it's normal to feel sad sometimes, even if life is great. Sadness is good when you decide to express your feelings - It is the only way you can heal.

I don't think you have to fit in. Be yourself and proud of who you are, that's it! It's my miracle recipe........it took me years to get there. I have tried for 26 years to fit in, realizing there was nothing as fitting in. And it took me 5 years to decide to be me. Hard and long process but step by step I get there. And many times I feel I don't fit in and it's fine. I don't have too, I just have to remain true to myself.

Indulge on your favourite hot drink today, and maybe a little cake, go out and do something you like.....I am sure tomorrow you'll feel better. And if not, don't worry better times will come, This, I am sure of.
take care.

toytulip said...

It's nice that you were so honest! I feel the exact same way some days! I am happy and have everything I need and everything I want in my life, but some days I just feel like I'm not good enough for all of it or that there is something missing...or I am just afraid of disappointing my loved ones. It sort of makes me feel a little better knowing that I am not the only 'weirdo' like that :)
See? if we could have coffee, you would fit in! You don't always have to make huge efforts to match the people around you, but it is important to choose to have around the people that are like you.
And it does feel so nice getting to 'know' fellow bloggers from around the world.Sometimes it might just be making my day! :D
I wish you a very nice and relaxing week!

Jessica said...

Joelle, I'm sorry today is particularly rough on you-- I know I get those days and they're no fun. I'm glad blogging has been a good outlet for you, I've definitely found that for myself too. I love just being able to write and know someone is reading it, even when I don't know them.

I know I feel socially awkward sometimes, especially now that my husband and I aren't hanging out with college kids 24/7 anymore. Being in the adult world is different, and I don't know if that changes how I express myself or not.

Hope that cute little pug picture helps you, too! He put a smile on my face! :)

Eliza said...

This was a great post, Joelle :) I think we all have these days {me especially!} and that's okay. I'm slowly learning that days like this are something to embrace...because sometimes when I try so hard to be happy in spite of them, I end up more exhausted and sad than I was before.

Know that there are tons of us here for you! I'm such a fan of your blog, I load your page right alongside my first email check of the day. Every day. The point of this is to say that your blog is obviously YOU, and your blog is obviously amazing, making YOU = amazing :)

Have a great week, friend!

Sarah said...

Awwwww I love the pug =)

- Sarah
http://agirlintransit.blogspot.com/

Erin said...

I love this post and I love you! I have a lot of social anxiety and panic attacks stemming from being molested as a child. Anxiety is a dark dark world and I know what you're going through. I think you are wonderful and so sweet. Glad you opened up to us all. Even though I'm silent sometimes I still read every word you write. Thinking of you!

Erin

Britt said...

I totally understand how you feel. Some days are just harder than others. It doesn't matter how wonderful your life is. I have those days too.

I have met you in real life and I think you are a lovely person! I used to think that I didn't fit in with certain groups. It hasn't been until recently that I have come to realize I like being me. If you don't like me or whatever you are free to exit my life. I have too many wonderful people who I cherish to let one person or group bring me down. I hope tomorrow is a better day:)

Noe said...

Thank You so much for sharing coffee with us.But most of all thank you for being so open and humble.
I haven't read any of the other comments, and I have been following you for just a little over a week. Let me please tell you that you're not alone, it is to me so ironic that in such a immense world (I'm from South America) sometimes its easier to find true friends this way. I often feel the same way and moving to a different place a year ago didn't make it any easier for me. Perhaps because of the lack of having that home or a husband by my side.I use to have a blog, but I often felt like I only used it as a way to vent about the way I felt (most time it was that way ..anyway) So, knowing that I'm not alone makes me feel at least normal...so Thank You once again for being so open about it.

Sydney said...

Oh wow! What a wonderful post! I feel exactly the same way! Good for you for putting yourself out there! Not all of us can cover fashion week after fashion week or blog about perfect crafts 24/7 ,were real people and we blog about our real lives. this was EXACTLY what I needed to hear today! Thank you so much for sharing.

Pamela said...

Love the honest post. I def know how you feel! I think sometimes we all have days like that! Glad you could take the time to share & get it off of your chest. That's one reason why I love blogging! So glad I started. It's my little get away space!

Kate @ Daffodils said...

Beautifully written post. I find my sad days much less since I started blogging too, it definitely helps me find the good in everyday. But, you are right, sometimes there is just sadness. I find your honesty freshing but hope your week gets much better~!

Melissa said...

Hi Joelle!
I just stumbled on your blog and read this post and it really resonated with me - especially the part about being socially awkward. I find myself not really fitting in and finding myself thinking I don't have enough friends, people don't like me, guys don't like me. It's hard to stay true when you feel these moments. It's also hard to admit to feeling sad when on the surface everything seems great. Thanks for sharing!


PS. I love it when people get real on their blogs - I find myself doing it on my own blog - sometimes there is a time to be light and fluffy and sometimes you just need to say what is on your mind.

I am now a follower and look forward to reading more posts:)

http://unpublishedworksofme.blogspot.com/