1.25.2012

{wedding wednesday, part two}

I have two Wedding Wednesday posts for you today, and I might have two from now on. I thought it might be nice to answer any questions about wedding planning that you all might have, so here it goes!

Jillian, from Cornflake Dreams, asks…

My fiancé and I both have 2 brothers that we'd like to include in the wedding but we're not having them as groomsmen. Any ideas?

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Depending on the age of your brothers, there are a variety of options for you. The most obvious of which is to have them as ushers, which means that they would seat guests as they arrive. Traditional etiquette dictates that you have sides for guests {a groom’s side and a bride’s side}, and ushers are very important for seating guests on the appropriate side {bride on the left, groom on the right}. Ushers also ensure that family is seated in the correct location, such as in the first few pews. Obviously, sides are only optional these days, so ushers are typically more of a formality than anything, but it does give men who aren’t in the wedding a chance to participate.

Another option for you is to delegate tasks to them, such as standing by the guestbook and asking guests to sign it as they arrive, or to hand out programs. You can also ask them to participate in the ceremony by lighting the unity candle with your family, if you’re having one, or do a special reading.

Even if it they aren’t standing up as groomsmen, it’s still important that they be included in the family pictures.

At the reception, you can do a special brother-sister dance after you dance with your father. Or, you can ask them to give toasts, pass out cake, or even sit with you at the head table.

There are quite a few options for you, but I would definitely ask your brothers how they would like to be involved. Even if they aren’t groomsmen, there are still plenty of ways to make sure that they feel appreciated and special on your wedding day as well.

Thanks Jillian!

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If you haven’t already, make sure to link up for Wedding Wednesday! And if you have a question for next week’s post, feel free to email me.

3 comments:

Leeann @ Join the Gossip said...

That's what my friend did for her wedding. She has two brothers and they were ushers :)

M. Flynn said...

I have to disagree. I think it seems kind of inconsiderate to ask family members who could be in the bridal party to hand out programs or be an usher.

Someone I know was asked to seat people at his brother's wedding and he actually felt hurt. He said he wished his brother had just seated him with their parents and let it go. People understand that there's a limited number of people who can be in the bridal party.

Putting someone to work on your wedding day seems like a kind of impersonal and last-minute way to include them.

jillian :: cornflake dreams. said...

great ideas!! my brothers are both in their 20s (one MIGHT not even be able to come to the wedding (sad) bc he might be deployed overseas.. but i think i will have them make a toast or usher. xoxo