3.10.2011

One of those days…

Do you ever just have one of those days?

One of those days, when every article you see or blog post you read reminds you of what you aren’t?

Not pretty enough. Don’t have enough money. House isn’t cute enough.

I love myself, I really do. And I don’t necessarily like writing posts like this. But I guess it happens.

It’s my blog, about my life. This is my life.

I’m self-conscious.

I see blog posts about women who look beautiful, even in sweats and a T-shirt.

I take horrible pictures. I feel really…not beautiful today.

I see pictures of women my age, with gorgeous houses and lots of money.

I love my apartment, but its not my dream home. I’ll get there someday, I know. But I’m not there yet. And some women are. At 24. How does that work?

I go to blogs that have hundreds of followers and lots of comments. And I’m jealous.

Don’t judge.

Maybe getting out of bed and not feeling like a slob will make me feel better.

Maybe not.

Tomorrow will be better. Hopefully. It’s Friday.

24 comments:

Felicity said...

Snap to most of that Joelle, but as the Desiderata clearly states it doesn't pay to compare ourselves to others, it only makes us vain or bitter [or something like that].

Would a trip to Hong Kong cheer you up?
Pop on over and enjoy a tour with my friend Bridget as she gives us an insiders guide to this bustling city.

xx Felicity
www.giftsofserendipity.com

Amanda said...

I totally know how you feel. BUT on the up-side, you have love. And I think that that would make most anyone envious of you =)

mrsashcake said...

i know EXACTLY the kind of day your talking about and these feelings? well I could have said them myself. they are that close to the way i feel A LOT of the time and a lot lately too.

HUGS!!

Maegan said...

So those feelings are exactly what I felt when I got here ... your blog is beautiful and I immediately compared it to mine and I feel so inferior. Since this is my first visit I don't know you ... yet ... but love the honesty of your post. We all feel like that sometimes.

I have a feeling that you're amazing!! :)

Emily said...

I'm right with Meagan on this one. Your blog makes me feel this way every now and then! It's so difficult not to compare ourselves...I think it's human nature.

My Grammy says "find your own song and sing it at the top of your lungs. Then you won't hear anyone else's." This can be pretty snarky in certain contexts, but it sure can snap me out of the blues.

Joelle said...

Thank you so much for the kind words friends. You all have no idea how much they mean to me.

Amanda ~ You are so very right. I do have love, and it truly is wonderful.

Emily ~ I love that quote from your Grammy. It's so true! Sometimes we just need someone to remind us.

xoxo,
Joelle

Morgan said...

Joelle, this is such a lovely post even though you aren't feeling lovely. It's brutally raw and true because it's what we all think during those moments of lack of clarity. For the things that you mentioned there are many others that make you shine, that make you undeniably you.

Tomorrow is a new day, it will be better. It will be your's.

Adrian said...

Ahh Joelle, I just love you to bits and I am so sorry you are dealing with such crummy feelings of inferiority when all of us see how beautiful, talented, and blessed you are! I so understand how easy it is to compare yourself to others, and how quick it gets you down. Hang in there girl, you can weather this storm!

Adrian said...

Oh, I just found this quote and it made me think of you! Even if you don't have exactly what you want now, you can get it eventually!

If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.
Mahatma Gandhi

Sharad K said...

Aspiration and Desire is the first step to achievement...I believe my argument will answer that..!.. you have a beautiful blog!

Adrienne Gomer said...

Saw your blog from my friend Adrian (see comment above). Super cute! Consider me a follower you can add to your arsenal :D

Jenna said...

Ugh... sorry you're feeling down, but, if it's any consolation, I agree with all the lovely women that commented above me... I think you're blog is beautiful, I think your apartment's beautiful and I think you're even more beautiful :)

And... it's tomorrow in South Africa and I woke up this morning feeling much better than I was yesterday so I'm sure you will too :)

xoxo
Jenna

Megan said...

every blogger/woman, even the ones in which you say you envy sometimes, go through the same exact emotions. Some express it, some filter it, and some push it down deep. but it is still there. the constant doubt of ourselves, the feelings of inadequacy. it resides in all of us who are women. just keeping do what you do my love. because YOU are amazing.

xx

Megan said...

and now i'm insecure because of all of the spelling/grammatical errors in the comment. told you. lol.

jillian :: cornflake dreams. said...

i totally agree with megan.. it really does happen to all of us. yesterday i was walking home from the bus in my big puffy coat and boots, looking mighty awful when i saw two gorgeous girls running around in heels and cute little coats. bah. i felt like a old cat/bag lady.

try to focus on all of the positives, the things you have rather than do not have. you have a loving husband, a v cute home, and a place to share your thoughts. i hope you feel better soon... its friday! and that means happy hour right :) :)

xoxo jcd

Jenny said...

aww...we all get into funks sometimes. Tomorrow is a new day!

Tids said...

Oh I hear ya! We all have days like this, sweets. I sometimes wonder if following some of the blogs I folow are a bit counter-productive in the self-esteem stakes. But then the next day when I look at them with fresh eyes I'm glad that I have so much lovely stuff to look at. And then I dream about what I want....and it's very much WHEN not IF. Hugs on route xxxxxxx

andrea said...

Dear friend, I'm so sorry you were feeling this way, even for an evening. I know it's so sad and gloomy when those moods hit us; trust me, sometimes I feel like those moods hit me all too often. You're not alone.

Constantly I'm measuring myself up against my friends, people on the street, women whose blogs I ready, etc. and I think, wow, whatta failure I must be. I don't have my own place so I must be a loser. I don't drive a BMW and I probably never will. Why can't my hair look like hers? Etc. Etc. Etcccc. It's discouraging and, yes, even defeating at times. But then I remember that I am not them. I am only me and my life is moving at it's own pace, a pace that's just right even if I don't always know it.

I want you to know you are so beloved even when you feel sad or ugly or hopeless. I, for one, am so grateful to have a friend like you, just the way you are!

Chin up and happy Friday. :)

Betty said...

I found my way over here from Happy Girls are the Prettiest and found your honesty to be refreshing. It's blogs like yours that make the blog world the wonderful place it is! I hope your Friday is wonderful and I look forward to reading your blog regularly! You have a new follower in me!

Kamika said...

we all have those days luv, and it is OK to have them. Feel what you need to feel and know that tmrw is another day!

Maggie said...

First - I'm so glad you posted this. SO many blogs are all happy-rainbows-butterflies and never any real life.

I definitely have days like this too, and sometimes blogs like that make me feel even worse. But like everyone else before me said - focus on the positive! And smile!

-Maggie
ps: have I told you yet that I love this new layout? the pink and grey is wonderful!

Alisha said...

Joelle, you can't live your life always comparing yourself to others. You keep doing that and you'll make yourself miserable. You're always going to find someone better at something than you, someone prettier, and the list goes on and on. You've got to know that you have wonderful things in your life. You have a wonderful husband, Robert, who is head over heels for you. Girl, that alone, is something others are jealous that you have ;)

You WILL go far. Just be patient. Love you.

The Extra Ordinary Bree said...

I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one that feels like this sometimes... a lot of times.

When I get in this rut I try to listen to "Gravity" John Mayer sings it beautifully. Somewhere on my blog I have a post about how this song brings me out of it.

Whitney said...

i feel the same way at times. sometimes i feel like i am wasting my time blogging, because i don't get as many comments as i did before (i've just been busy, ans can't read and comment 24/7). it's really discouraging.