I recently saw a post from Jess at Makeunder My Life that I really appreciated. After blogging for a little over a year and a half, I know that not all bloggers choose to show their real lives. When Jess decided to post about things she's afraid to tell her readers, it just made me love her even more. It proves that she is willing to put herself out there, a rarity in the blogging world. So, I'm taking a cue from her. Here are some secrets that I've been afraid to share with you. 


I'm afraid of the dark and of being home alone. I refuse to sleep by myself anywhere. If my husband is gone, I will stay with a friend. Even if he is home and working in the office, I have to keep the door open with the hall light on when I go to sleep. 

I have two big fears about my health: that I will be unfairly considered a hypochondriac, and that I will grow old too quickly. I hate being sick. I hate being pathetic about it. And I hate feeling like this is how it will be my entire life. 

I am in debt. Like, more than typical student loan debt. And I have no savings. That's terrifying. 

Addiction runs in my family, and it scares me. I purposefully take days where I don't drink any alcohol just so I can prove to myself that I can. 

I get annoyed easily, and sometimes let words get out before checking them. Definitely not something I'm proud of. I also get jealous easily, hurt easily, and angry easily. 

I want to be the perfect housewife, but I hate cleaning. And, I'm terrible at it. Please don't ever drop by unannounced because it will cause me to have a panic attack. Seriously {just ask my friends}. 


And if you’re interested, here are a few of my more personal posts:

{on life, lately}
{dressing down}
{my mission}
{25 facts}
{food, I likes it}


Stephanie said...

These are so refreshing! Bloggers are normal! :)

Jane {In the Pink and Green} said...

I am the same way about staying home alone! I realize it's completely irrational but when my husband has to go out of town for work (which is very rarely thank goodness!) I literally do not get any sleep because I'm so embarrassingly afraid! I realize it's not logical at all, but I can't help it! (Although I will say that things have gotten a little better since getting our dog!)

But I love this idea for a post, we all have things we're embarrassed about, but no one is perfect and there is beauty in being honest about that :)

Anonymous said...

I'm terrified I'm not going to find a job and will have to go back home with no money, no savings, and in huge debt.
I'm afraid my partner isn't the right guy, but I soo want him to be. I think this because we've been together for three years and can't have sex because it hurts too much to try and grosses me out like you wouldn't believe.
I'm afraid that my feelings about sex will never change and I will never have it again, and therefore never have babies.
I'm afraid I'm not 'good' enough, don't 'believe' enough. That I've done too many bad things that I'm just not 'worthy'.
I live in fear of being judged and criticized and find it hard to leave the house on my own and make friends.

Jenna said...

I love this post! I also hate being alone, when Jurgen was away in Switzerland for 3 weeks in November I had mini breakdowns at least once a week. For me it's more the being alone in the house in the evenings, than being afraid to go to bed. The quiet is just too much to stand!

Thanks for sharing this, it's proof that we're all human :)


Smidge said...

I love this post too. I wish more bloggers were honest about themsleves online. We all have secrets and fears, we just don't often reveal them. I might do this too if you don't mind.

Betsy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Missy said...

What a great post...I think our fears, when voiced out loud sound the same a lot of times. We're all human and fears are what makes us us. Well done for the bravery!

jen said...

love this post! thank you for sharing all of that. i am right there with you on the in debt fear. so totally past my comfort zone and need to start planning [saving] for my future asap!

life spelled jen

Eliza said...

Thank you for sharing this! I love that you did :)

I am the EXACT same way when T isn't home. He has so many late nights at school, and I have to keep the lights on and try to distract myself with TV or blogging so I don't freak out. When he's out of town, I have to stay with a friend or have a girlfriend come over and stay with me. I won't walk outside when it's dark if I'm by myself...and any other instance you can think of that involves being alone and the dark haha It terrifies me!

Thanks for sharing :)
xo! eliza

Kristin said...

Thanks for sharing your reality! I love when bloggers are just all out there, instead of perfectly polished with a tiara on top :-). I've been thinking about doing a post of "real life" around my house, and your post has inspired me to give it a go! Hope your day is wonderful!

M. Flynn said...

I can't stay home alone, either! I lived alone for a year when Rob was a senior in college and it was so hard. I know I could do it, but now that I have, I just don't want to!

Anonymous said...

I am in crazy debts as well! It might be one of the worst feelings in the world. My husband and I are finally starting to get a handle on things. Almost half of our monthly income goes to credit cards and student loans. I hate that we have gotten ourselves into this mess. You aren't the only one!

MarieHarmony said...

I love it Joelle! Thanks for sharing, we are all human afterwards.

I don't like being home on my own as well, I just have to manage it because my husband is often away for work, but I always double check the door and close the two locks!

Have a lovely day!xx

Maggie B. said...

Ah - I think something just broke free within me reading this post! I get the sleeping alone thing - I'm like that too. I won't go to a friends house is husband is out of town, but I don't get any sleep.

My mother is a recovering alcoholic. For Lent this year I gave up all booze because I was seriously afraid of what was happening to me. Since Lent is over I let myself drink now, but not anywhere near as much as I was.

I'm in debt too. Lots of it. 2 car loans, student loan, and 4 credit cards. Not to mention the HELOC and mortgage. But we also have 3 retirement accounts, soon to be 4, and I make a real effort to save $300/month in very liquid savings accounts - you know, for emergencies. Or shoes.

Just know that you are not alone! :) And thanks for sharing!

Maggie B. said...

also, I suck at house work. and my yard looks like something crazy homeless people are going to start living in....