{wedding wednesday: the bridesmaids}

It’s Wednesday again, my favorite day on Something Charming! I’m especially excited about today’s topic, mainly because I’m going to be a bridesmaid in a few weeks. Even I needed a little refresher course…



The biggest piece of advice (and comfort, I suppose) I can give you is to wait to choose your bridesmaids until you are absolutely sure of who you want standing up there with you. It may seem like it’s a good idea to propose to your girlfriends as soon as he proposed to you, but you may want to hold off until you decide a wedding date. You never know what will happen between you and your friends between now and your wedding, especially if you’re having a long engagement. But, if you do choose someone to be bridesmaid that you later regret, don’t stress over it too much. It happens to all of us, and the best you can do is remember the good times when looking back at the pictures. I’m speaking from experience.

Anyway, any woman reading this post needs to take note. If you aren’t a bride yet (or anytime in your life), you’ll more than likely be a bridesmaid. But don’t worry. You technically aren’t obligated to anything as a bridesmaid, other than general support and just being there on the wedding day.
There are a lot of negative things said about being a bridesmaid. Stereotypically, it’s seen as demeaning and painful, especially if you’re single. But really, you get to be there for someone as their friend as they make the biggest commitment of their life. That seems pretty cool to me.


Bridesmaids Guide


Handle Bridezilla
It may be inevitable that your friend will become unmanageable at least once before the wedding. Just having a ring on her finger does not give her an excuse to treat her friends and family poorly, but it’s really important that you choose your battles. If she becomes completely unbearable, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask her to tone it down. But threatening to quit the bridal party should only be saved for an extreme situation. If she becomes downright mean to you or anyone else in the bridal party, and you feel as if your only option is to refuse to stand with her, be prepared to potentially ruin the friendship forever.
Mismatched Dresses

Now, this is one trend that I am 100% behind. Women come in all shapes and sizes, and it’s impossible {or, nearly impossible} to find one dress that will flatter them all equally. If you really want to be an amazing bride and friend, let them choose their own dresses. You can still give them guidelines, such as a fabric, style, or color.


There are so many things I could say about bridesmaids, especially what a great honor and responsibility it is. If you have any questions at all, you are more than welcome to email me, ask it in the comments below, or tweet at me.

Link Up
Next Week


Melissa said...

My bridesmaids had different dresses and different colored dresses. It was awesome and they were happy. I completely agree on the whole waiting to ask your bridesmaids though, because I asked early and one of mine ended up deciding to be mean and childish but I felt like I couldn't unask her, you know?

Anonymous said...

My bridesmaids had different colors and different dresses as well. And I also believe that you should wait until closer to the wedding to pick your bridesmaids. I found girls that I adored that I honestly forgot I loved so much that I totally would have loved to be in my wedding. Take your time and think things through.

xoxo Amber

The Pink Growl said...

I'm doing the mismatched styles with my dresses, but all the same color. I love your wedding wednesdays!!

siddathornton said...

i definitely took my time deciding on my wedding party, because i had heard a bunch of horror stories of people turning on each other, being rude, stopping being friends, etc. i'm glad i waited - i'm happy with my choices :)

- lauren

boyandgirl said...

This was a wonderful post! Thanks for the insight, Joelle!!!

Lindsay @ Trial By Sapphire said...

I really appreciate what you shared. I know it was written with bridesmaids in mind, but there is a lot of good advice for brides as well. I sense that a friendship of yours came apart during or around wedding planning, and I'm so sorry to hear that! But like you said, learn from it and hold the good memories close.

I read a really good quotation today: "Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." -- Buddha

It doesn't necessarily apply to my comment above, but it was something that spoke to me today, and well, I just wanted to share it with you!

Sorry for the novel-length comment!

megan said...

Eek! I can't decide which bridesmaid post I want to link up with! Very excited about next week's post because that's one of the things we actually haven't decided yet - what HE will be wearing! :)

Mimi @ Irresistible Icing said...

Totally agree about not expecting much from them if you don't want to turn into a bridezilla. Such great advice. This post is so well written!


Alisha said...

Thanks for the refresher course! :) I'm in my friends wedding coming up in November, and I'm worried about one of the other bridesmaids instigating drama or having all the focus on her instead of the bride. Hopefully, we'll be able to keep her toned down on the big day!

Yay for being bridesmaids this year!! xo

Anonymous said...

I love the idea of using different dresses for your bridesmaids or at least finding something they all like and not only the bride likes. You want them to feel comfortable too because it isn't meant to be torture! It's a day to celebrate with loved ones.

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